fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
