I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
