I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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