I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Found your dick twin last night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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