Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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