I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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