Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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