I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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