She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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