There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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