Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
