forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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