She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
