don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
