i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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