It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
