HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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