no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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