How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize