There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
