what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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