I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
