the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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