I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
