$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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