Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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