Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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