Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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