Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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