just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
