I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
