Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
