finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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