It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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