I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
