I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
