Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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