I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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