Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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