for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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