I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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