I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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