She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
