thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize