My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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