she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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