Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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