that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I want a musical about memes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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