forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
