No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
