One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
