It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
