I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fuck appropriateness.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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