Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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