I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
