I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your cock deserves a montage
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
