so explain again why im purple
no
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
