this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
