My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
