Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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