Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
