Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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