she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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