i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
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if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
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it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize