Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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