She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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