yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
