No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
