I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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