I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
