This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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